Post-10k, post-shower, angry-cat coffee break from souvenir mug. For the record, Sherman was purring when this was taken.
I’ve had a lot on my mind lately. For the past few months, it’s been weight-of-the-world type stuff (things that are too complicated for me to ever fully understand, let alone change). I mean, really, we’re talking big ticket items: Political and financial corruption, the sorry state of the American food system, rampant materialism, chemical pollution, overpopulation, the ingrained need for attention and self promotion present in my generation (and yes, I include myself here—I am writing this on my own blog that I expect / hope others will read and respond to, after all). There are some days when I drill so far down into this list that I struggle to think about anything else, and the State Of Things hangs over me like an oppressive fog. No big surprise, but these days usually get me nowhere.
There are other days when I bring this thinking closer to home, to my own actions, wants and motivations. These days are more exciting, because I find myself beginning to plan and dream of ways to change myself, to change the ways I categorize and satisfy my needs, to increase the positivity I leave behind and lessen my negative impact. They’re also scary days, because I start to do the difficult work of differentiating between true needs and mere wants masquerading as needs. Let’s be honest: It’s hard to admit that things you like and want aren’t actually important. Confronting your own hidden (or not-so-hidden) vanity, gluttony and greed is demoralizing before it’s liberating.
Sometimes my thinking is especially grandiose and downright fanciful: Let’s sell our house and our possessions, buy a plot of land, throw away our technology and become suburban subsistence farmers! (Except, wait! Don’t throw away that technology yet! I just need to quickly google, “How to become a subsistence farmer” first. THEN throw it away!) Or: Let’s sell everything and move to a communal housing development in Denmark! No big surprise, but these ideas also usually get me nowhere. (Although, I did once google “How to move to Demark.” It wasn’t super helpful.)
So when I’m not crushed by the weight of human failings, and have come down from soaring with my head in European clouds, I try to think about what I can actually do—and do today—that might mean something. Even if it’s only a very little something. Because some days, that’s the only way I can seem to lift the fog.
I’m toying with the idea of going a year without buying any new clothing and instead sewing what I need (I’m already accidentally three months into this challenge and I foresee a summer of drawstring maxi skirts), and of cultivating a garden and trying to grow at least a good portion of all the food we eat. I already started making my own almond milk, a move in response to which my own mother (lovingly) called me a hippie.
I guess what I’m trying to say in sort is that I’m becoming that person. That usually very annoying person. Except with two caveats: 1) I won’t tell anyone else how to live and, 2) I’m not giving up shaving my armpits.
By the way, the book Einstein’s Dreams was wonderful and I highly recommend it. The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People was garbage and little more than an overstuffed advertisement for the author’s pricey private seminars. The only worthwhile bit is an early chapter activity about writing your own obituary to help you understand how you want to be remembered so you can translate that into your current actions. Otherwise? Avoid, avoid, avoid.
So, with all that philosophical nonsense aside, here’s what I plan to do in March:
- Continue practicing the piano, one hour per day, Mondays through Saturdays – I can play something like 15 songs now!
- Post temporary galleries to this site
- Read What The Dog Saw and The 4-Hour Workweek
- Make my IRA contribution :)
- Start our taxes!
- Make wedding “Best Of 2012” post
- Start planning a garden
- Walk 10,500 steps each day
- Perfect a sourdough bread recipe
- Find and sign up for a flat 10k (i.e., no elevation change—hills and I are not friends)
- Start half marathon training
And here’s what I finished in February:
- Continue practicing the piano, one hour per day, Mondays through Saturdays
- Get my new brand and website under contract (ugh, finally!)
- Read Einstein’s Dreams and finish The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People
- Perfect a minestrone recipe — I’m checking this off, but I’m still not totally satisfied with the results I got
- Burn archive image DVDs and delete extra copies from my computer
- Run a 10k
- Walk 10,500 steps each day this month
- Go camping!
Am I the only person who gets regularly crushed by the weight of the world? Please tell me I’m not alone here.
by Molly
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